People Pleasing

ARE YOU A PEOPLE PLEASER?

People pleasing is a behaviour adaptation to feeling unsafe, usually learnt in early years.

We learn very quickly as children to keep ourselves safe from what we perceive as dangerous. This might mean actual physical danger or a simple "telling off" that someone else might see as trivial.

As children we want to play, be curious, explore, love.... So when we are met with chaos, yelling, and much more we very quickly adapt our behaviour to feel safe. We learn to manipulate the environment for our own internal feeling of safety.

This can look different for everybody but a very common behaviour is people pleasing, which is soul destroying and exhausting.

You might be a people pleaser if you’ve experienced these:

1) You grew up with parents who were not emotionally regulated.

2) You experienced the silent treatment or standing on egg shells

3) Feeling like you responsible for making sure your parents/guardian are in a “good” mood

4) You were around volatile and unpredictable behaviour

Are you a people pleaser?
Do you know what trigger this response?

Much love

Jodie xx